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Building Relationships #NoExcuses

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“Few things will pay you bigger dividends than the time and trouble you take to understand people. Almost nothing will add more to your stature as an executive and a person. Nothing will give you greater satisfaction or bring you more happiness”. ~George Kienzle and Edward Dare (from Climbing the Executive Ladder)

Some things to think about:

“How are you doing when it comes to being relational?

Do you spend a lot of time and energy building solid relationships, or are you so focused on results that you tend to overlook (or overrun) others?”

Do you know what motivates the members of your team? How can you help them to achieve their goals and desires?

What can you do to help make our “team” experience better and more enjoyable?

We humans are social beings. A great deal of our happiness, success and experience in life rely on interaction with other people. It is through our contact with others on a daily basis that we acquire knowledge, learn skills, develop our goals and capture the chance at a better future. Meeting one person can unlock possibilities we never knew existed. Unfortunately, in today’s world, socialization is becoming less and less common. We create excuses that stand between us and other people; excuses that separate us from the happiness and the prospects these people can present. In my upcoming book “No Excuses Mind” you will learn how a “No Excuses” mindset can help achieve our goals in different areas of life, but how can a “No Excuses” mindset in social relationships change our lives?

What’s your excuse?

I frequently go to Starbucks and find people standing in line waiting for their coffee. They are surrounded by many people they could connect to, but instead of discovering these people, they are glued to their phones. Everybody is more focused on updating their Facebook profiles than on interacting with those around them. As gripping as modern technology is, it has made it very easy for us to forget to connect to people. We have become addicted to social media, and we let that addiction distract us from pursuing real relationships with real people. These technologies and ‘social’ outlets are excuses keeping us from getting out there, connecting with others and seizing the opportunities that come with socialization.

In our fast-paced culture, we have even found ways to take socialization out of social events! Instead of going to church or temple, many watch the services on television. People buy a seminar tape and watch it instead of attending the seminar. These alternatives don’t feed our human needs to socialize, be part of the community, form relationships, and make friendships. Our dependence on technology causes us to miss on that important part, and we find ourselves unhappy and unfulfilled.

When I go to Starbucks, I high five people. I go there and I enjoy people just like I enjoy coffee. I connect to several people during these few minutes I spend waiting for my coffee. Not only is this rewarding to me on a personal level, it is essential to my growth professionally. It’s all about relationships and your ability to build them.

Relationships and Career:

Take a step back and think about the best sales people you have met. What makes them good? The best enterpreuners have one thing in common: they connect with their clients. A good sales person customizes her approach to make a connection, to communicate and to form a relationship. I have been a sales professional for 17 years, and I can tell you that sales are all about relationships. People don’t only buy the product, they buy you as a salesperson. You sell them the relationship you form with them. Sadly, people are losing the touch, the ability to connect and socialize with other people. With that loss, they are losing chances at a whole new level; they are losing the horizons that entering a social circle can open up.

Social media may be a great marketing tool, but it is personal connection that benefits a relationship. Mass emails are perfect for business, but one-on-one contact is what really builds a professional relationship. Each of these things has its right time and place, and recognizing the difference is of utmost importance. Unfortunately, what we do is use one of these communication tools to replace another. We often create relationships for purposes that benefit our business goals. In the process, we fail to recognize the benefits of friendship, and relationships. I had the honor few years ago to have the CEO of our company visit our offices in CA. We had a great time discussing some of our successes and some of the challenges in business. After a few days, I was absolutly amazed when I received his handwritten note, thanking me for the time I spent with him. I still talk about it even today with my team members, and talk about the impact of his beautiful gesture.

Although modern technology has opened up so many possibilities to business, it has also created one of the biggest traps we fall into in our relationships. We falsely believe that email, text messages and social media can replace the personal touch.

Social media and texting are simply not enough. When I have the chance to meet the person or make a phone call, I will. I will do that because texting and using social media cannot replace the value of the relationship; they are good things, but not good enough.

Adapting to new forms of communication is essential, but it doesn’t mean that giving up the things that work, the things that give the most effect. We have to make the distinction between the situations that call for each method of communication.

I believe the misuse of these new communication methods is an obstacle. Before these tools were invented, people had fewer psychological problems; they were more relaxed. Professionally, we saw more success stories.

What do I want in my day-to-day relationships with others?

How can I relate better to others? What steps can I take to invest in people’s lives?

What will my life look like when I invest in relationships?

“A relationship without trust is like having a phone with no service. And what do you do with a phone with no service? You play games”

“A good relationship is more than something we want—it’s something we need to be our happiest, healthiest, most productive selves. But at home or work, supportive, fulfilling relationships don’t come automatically. They take an investment in time and energy as well as social skills that can be learned.” Trust and relationships are the currency of leadership.

Farshad Asl, Bankers Life, Regional Director

Why Entrepreneurship is Key to Success

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Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t.” – Anonymous

Entrepreneur: “a person who organizes and manages any enterprise, especially a business, usually with considerable initiative and risk.” – Dictionary.com

Sure, almost anyone can manage a project, or plan to reach a goal, but a true entrepreneur does this while facing difficulty with boldness, unafraid to take risks and accept the challenges of making it happen.

Here are some of my favorite quotes on Entrepreneurship:

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” -Walt Disney

“If you’re not embarrassed by the first version of your product, you’ve launched too late.” -Reid Hoffman

“If you’re not a risk taker, you should get out of business.” -Ray Kroc

Entrepreneurship enables you to love problems and see them as opportunities. An Entrepreneur has a mindset for success, because the road to success is always under construction. Entrepreneurs understand that pretty well.

To an Entrepreneur –

  • Problems are opportunities
  • Problems are solvable
  • Problems have lessons
  • Problems will make you stronger in life

Entrepreneurs are undaunted by what might hold others back. This enables them to accomplish bigger goals and make their visions reality. This is key to success, and to an Entrepreneur this is what it means to win.

Entrepreneurs don’t just like to win, they live to win. Winning is not just their habit but also their lifestyle. They press on despite difficulties and they never allow them to affect their attitude or performance. Winning is like OXYGEN for them. They value opportunity more than security. Potential over complacency, Excellence over the status quo!

  • They work hard.
  • They live with no excuses.
  • They start early and they stay late.
  • They have skin in the game
  • They take risk
  • They understand they have to give up in order to go up
  • They continue when others quit
  • They have passion for what they do
  • They have a high self-image
  • They invest in themselves
  • They micromanage themselves
  • They motivate themselves
  • They have a heart to serve others
  • They don’t look back, they learn and look forward
  • They create opportunities
  • They DREAM passionately
  • They enjoy life to the fullest
  • They are connected to the source of success (the Lord, the Creator of the creation)

Genesis 1:26-31

“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’

So God created man in his own image,

in the image of God he created him;

male and female he created them.

And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’ ”

Bible says: “be fruitful and multiply”

According to the Bible, the Lord created each and every one of us in his own image, and then “God blessed” us . Wow, such an amazing God. According to the Bible we were born to be successful, we were born to become Entrepreneurs, and we were born to become leaders. You might wonder, “what has stopped us”? The answer is very simple. He has given us the freedom of choice, the power of freewill, and the power of the mind; and we choose to allow FEAR to take over our FREEDOM. God commands us to use our talents productively; we are exhorted to work, to be creative, and to reject idleness.

The measure of success today is all about your ability to create a vision, to communicate that vision, to act heavily upon that vision, and to add value to others by helping them grow with you along the way.

Create Your Own Opportunities & Destiny

A study published in 2009 by IZA, the international Institute for the Study of Labor found that the mean, median, and standard deviation of incomes for Entrepreneurs ― controlled for education, general ability (as measured by standardized test scores), and demographics (including age and parental income) ― tended to be higher than those of good old-fashioned employees. And the difference is by no means small: mean income for Entrepreneurs is almost 50% greater than for “employees.” And what’s more- this effect is not explained by “professional” entrepreneurial pursuits such as opening a medical or law practice. Why is this? The study theorizes that Entrepreneurs can control their environments in order to play more to their strengths. While employees suffer from the “guard rails” and “iron cages” of corporate America, Entrepreneurs are able to create environments over time that maximize the value of their education and skills. That makes intuitive sense: create an environment that plays to your strengths, and you’ll be happier and more productive by continuing to work in the area that you have the skills and passion for.

If you have never experienced being an Entrepreneur, now is the time. The best time to start taking control of your life is right now! It is no longer enjoyable, profitable, or possible to create a legacy through the traditional way of working.

“Entrepreneurship is the process of conquering fear with getting out of your comfort-zone and living daily in your God-given gift zone”  ~Farshad Asl

So break out of your comfort-zone and become a true Entrepreneur TODAY.

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A Leader’s Mind

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Mindset is a simple idea discovered by world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck in decades of research on achievement and success—a simple idea that makes all the difference.

Carol Dweck, a world-renowned Stanford University psychologist, during decades of research on achievement and success, proposed the idea that all people have either of two mindsets, -a “fixed” mindset, or a “growth” mindset. This is a simple idea that can make all the difference.

Fixed Mindset: People believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort. They’re wrong.

Growth Mindset: People believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view can create a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Virtually all great people have had these qualities.

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“Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others.”  ~Jack Welch

A Leader’s Mind:  L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P

L: Love-based Motivation: Motivation based on feeling valued in the job.

  • Why do you think the majority of heart attacks occur on Monday mornings? One study showed that the most common factor in these heart attacks was that the victims were people whose work had become joyless striving. In other words, they couldn’t find meaning in their work, and their lives had become so out of balance that, one Monday morning, their bodies said, You are not going to work today. The role of leadership can either be Fear-based or Love-based. The decision is yours.

 E: Emotional Intelligence: A leader’s abilities to perceive, identify, understand, and successfully manage emotions in themselves and others; The more self-awareness that leaders have, the higher will be their awareness of the emotions of others around them.

A: Accountable: Accountability comes from the presence of trust and the absence of fear. Leaders keep themselves accountable before holding others accountable. They define and clarify roles, goals and expectations for the team.

D: Developing Others: Leaders can really make their marks by creating cultures of development within their teams and supporting people who seek opportunities for development. Leaders developing other leaders understand transformational leadership.

E: Enabler: Enabling others is key to develop them;

  •  Getting acquainted
  •  Asking questions
  •  Listening
  •  Identifying needs and interests
  •  Expressing feelings
  •  Being sensitive to others

R: Righteousness: “The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of wisdom.” – Proverbs 10:21 A good leader is a wise leader and wisdom is found in God and His word.

How would the desire to seek Righteousness improve your relationships? What part does Righteousness play in your relationships with your team members, friends, co-workers and family?

S: Servanthood: True leadership is servanthood, and the greatest leader of all time is Jesus Christ. Servanthood is an attitude exemplified by him. “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45)

H: Humility: Humility is an important human quality. But did you know that humility can help you be a better leader, too?

  • Jim Collins, an influential consultant and author, wrote about humility and leadership in his groundbreaking book, “From Good to Great.”
  • He found that, in the top-performing companies he identified, leaders had humility in abundance; they shared credit for success, and they were the first to accept blame for mistakes.

I : Independent thinking: Questioning assumptions and interpreting data and events according to one’s own beliefs, ideas, and thinking, rather than pre-established rules or categories defined by others

P: Personal Mastery: The discipline of personal growth and learning and of mastering yourself, it embodies personal visions, facing reality and holding creative tension.

Are Leaders Born or Made?

  • When Warren Bennis interviewed great leaders, “they all agreed leaders are made, not born, and made more by themselves than by any external means.” Bennis concurs: “I believe.. that everyone, of whatever age and circumstance, is capable of self-transformation.” Not that everyone will become a leader. Sadly, most managers and even CEOs become bosses, not leaders. They wield power instead of transforming themselves, their workers, and their organization.

A leader’s mind is focused on self-awareness, self-accountability, growing himself, and serving others by coaching, teaching, and influencing them. A leader’s mind can see and visualize a vision clearly, and as a result, they act before others do, they see before others see, and their selfless character will influence others to also become part of that big vision.

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How to Make People Feel Like A Million Bucks

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I remember after I first read this book, I couldn’t stop thinking about it for a long time. It was in my mind for months and it slowly became part of me. It was so fascinating to learn about people and different ways to connect and add value to them. This book is a must read, and I recommend it to all the leaders, managers, parents, teachers, and to anyone who works and interacts with people on a daily basis: “25 Ways to Win With People.” By Dr. John C. Maxwell. This book gave me some simple ideas with big impact that I would like to share with you today. Here are some of the notes I was able to gather on the book this weekend. I hope you enjoy reviewing them.

  1. Start with Yourself.

“Your relationships can only be as healthy as you are.” – Neil Clark Warren

Make yourself more valuable. “Increase your value to others by solving as many of your   problems as you can.”

  • Identify areas you need to improve in order to be more valuable to others and develop a plan to accomplish them.
  1. Practice the 30-Second Rule.

“He who waits to do a great deal of good at once, will never do anything.” – Samuel Johnson.

Give Others the Triple-A Treatment; Attention, Affirmation and Appreciation.

  • Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, say something encouraging to a person.
  • To be successful at this, you have to plan to do it.
  1. Let People Know You Need Them.

“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.” – Henry David Thoreau

People need to be needed. They need to know they helped at a meaningful level.

“I have a dream and I need your help.”

  • Give up or get help…When your dream is bigger than you are, you only have two choices: give up or get help.
  • Inspire others to join in the dream by letting them know they are needed.
  1. Create a Good Memory and Visit it Often.

“Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things.” – Cicero

Few things bond people together like a shared memory. Soldiers who battle together, teammates who win a championship together, and work teams that hit their goals share a connection that never goes away.

  • Revisit existing positive memories with people.
  • Plan experiences to commemorate milestones and create mementos.
  1. Compliment People in Front of Other People.

“Admonish thy friends in secret, praise them openly.” – Publilius Syrus

“Encouragement is oxygen to the soul” ~George Matthew Adams

When you compliment someone’s attitudes you can reinforce that attitude and make it more consistent.

  • Find/create opportunities to do so.
  • “Who can I spotlight in front of others?”
  1. Give Others a Reputation to Uphold.

“Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.” – Goethe

Old negative names, labels, or nicknames can block a person’s growth and progress. Give people a new name that can give them hope, and speaks to their future.

  • Start by asking “What is special/unique about this person?”
  1. Say the Right Words at the Right Time.

“No man has a prosperity so high or firm, but that two or three words can dishearten it; and there is no calamity which right words will not begin to redress.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Forget about what you want to say and ask yourself what you would like to hear if you were in the other person’s shoes.

  • “… the wrong words said at the wrong time .. discourage me ..
  • … the wrong words said at the right time .. frustrate me ..
  • … the right words said at the wrong time .. confuse me ..
  • … the right words said at the right time .. encourage me.”

Proverbs 25:11 (NCV) …“The right word spoken at the right time is as beautiful as gold apples in a silver bowl.”

  1. Encourage the Dreams of Others.

“Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain

Ask others to share their dreams with you.

Affirm the person as well as the dream.

Ask about the challenges they must overcome to reach their dreams. (RWG: This helps them solidify the steps they need to take to get there. Most people aren’t good at this.)

Offer your assistance.

Regularly revisit their dream with them.

Return to Step 1.

“Death’s not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live” ~ Norman Cousins

  1. Pass the Credit on to Others.

“If each of us were to confess his most secret desire, the one that inspires all of his plans, all his actions, he would say: ‘I want to be praised.’ ” – E.M. Cioran

Check your ego at the door…Pass the credit ASAP!

  • John Wooden, a UCLA coach, taught his players when they scored a point to smile, wink, or nod at the player who gave them the pass.
  • Verbal praise in front of others is powerful, but written praise lasts.
  • Passing on credit changes the recipient’s brain chemistry and creates “an emotional stamp that forever associates you in their minds with their success.”
  • Ask yourself, “Who has made me more successful than I would have been on my own?”
  1. Offer Your Very Best.

“I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.” – Abraham Lincoln

Make the most of your gifts and opportunities.

Everybody appreciates a person who gives his BEST!

  1. Share a Secret with Someone.

“Conceal not your secret from a friend, or you deserve to lose him.” – Portuguese Proverb

Sharing a secret makes people feel special and includes them in your journey.

  1. Mine the Gold of Good Intentions.

“To err is human; to forgive is not company policy.” – Unknown

People generally give you what you expect from them. Assume the best in the others…and see things from their perspective.

Forget about justice; instead, focus on grace and forgiveness.

  1. Keep Your Eyes off the Mirror.

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” – Albert Schweitzer

Serving others from a place of emotional health is a source of contentment.

” If you want happiness for an hour—take a nap. If you want happiness for a day—go fishing. If you want happiness for a month—get married. If you want happiness for a year—inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime—help others. ” – Chinese Proverb

  1. Do for Others What They Can’t Do for Themselves.

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.”         – John Bunyan

No matter how much or how little you think you have, you have the ability to do for others what they can’t do for themselves.

  • Introduce others to people they can’t know on their own.
  • Take others to places they can’t go on their own.
  • Offer others opportunities they can’t reach on their own.
  • Share ideas with others they don’t possess on their own.
  1. Listen with Your Heart.

“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” – Peter Drucker

Unclog your ears and focus on the person. Listen aggressively…

Listen actively, create the win win situation.

  1. Find the Keys to Their Hearts.

“Coaches who can outline plays on a blackboard are a dime a dozen. The ones who succeed are those who get inside their players and motivate them.” – Vince Lombardi

Accept the fact that people are different.

Ask questions

  • What do they dream about, cry about, find joy in, value, and believe to be their strengths?
  • Establish common ground.
  • “Turn the key only when you can add value to that person.”
  1. Be the First to Help.

“After the verb ‘to love,’ ‘to help’ is the most beautiful verb in the world.” – Berth Von Suttner

Zig Ziglar said it very well:

“You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get

what they want.”

A good question to ask is “How can I best serve this person?”

  1. Add Value to Others and Yourself.

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” – Albert Einstein

Make yourself more valuable.

Value people.

Have a growth plan for yourself and others.

  1. Remember a Person’s Story.

“Many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request.” – Phillip Stanhope, Earl of Chesterfield

The time taken in asking for and listening to someone’s story:

  • Will be entirely focused on them: their dreams, disappointments, interests, etc..
  • Will be enjoyed by that person.
  • Will give you insight into that person.
  • Will build a stronger relationship with that person.

If asking these types of questions is awkward for you, start practicing on people you’re not likely to see again, like cab drivers, waitresses, people in line.

Don’t interrupt: replace “That reminds me of…” with “Go on” or “I see”

Repeat back what you heard, “Let me see if I understand…”

Bring up some aspect of the person’s story the next time you see him.

  1. Tell a Good Story.

“The universe is made of stories, not atoms.” – Muriel Rukeyser

“People may not remember your name but they will always remember your story” ~Farshad Asl

Tell us a story rather than just relaying the facts.

The goal is connecting and sharing yourself, not just making yourself look good.

  1. Give with No Strings Attached.

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: What are you doing for others?” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

I would not be where I am if others had not given freely to me; others need me to do the same for them.

See the big picture and have an abundance mentality.

  1. Learn Your Mailman’s Name.

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” – Dale Carnegie

S – Say the name 3 times in a conversation.

A – Ask a question about the name (eg. spelling), or person.

V – Visualize the person’s prominent physical or personality feature.

E – End the conversation with the name.

A person’s mood and self evaluation improve when another man remembers him personally.

“Good men must die, but death cannot kill their names..” ~Proverb

  1. Point Out People’s Strengths.

“The praises of others may be of use in teaching us, not what we are, but what we ought to be.” – August W. Hare

People add the most value in their strength zones.

People are more highly motivated when working in an area of strength.

  1. Write Notes of Encouragement.

“The power of words is immense. A well-chosen word has often sufficed to stop a flying army, to change defeat into victory, and to save an empire.” – Emile De Girardin

Notes are remembered long after the writer has forgotten them.

  • Take the time to handwrite personal notes on a regular basis.
  • A handwritten note is evidence of your investment in that person.
  • Written notes can have a long lasting effect; longer than an email.
  1. Help People Win.

“The most important measure of how good a game I played, was how much better I’d make my teammates play.” -Bill Russell, winner of more NBA championships than any other player

Give people HOPE

  • When you help somebody win, you will be that person’s friend for life.
  • Focus on the process, not just on the win. Don’t just hand him the win, help him win so next time maybe he can win on his own.

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Standing On The Shoulders of Giants

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As far back as the twelfth century, we trace the use of this wonderful metaphoric expression:

“Standing on the shoulders of giants” which was a way to say, “Discovering truth by building on previous discoveries.”

Bernard of Chartres use to compare us to puny dwarfs perched on the shoulders of giants. He pointed out that we see more and farther than our predecessors, not because we have keener vision or greater height, but because we are lifted up and borne aloft on their gigantic stature.”

  • Bernard of Chartres was a twelfth-century French Neo-Platonist philosopher, scholar, and administrator.

Sir Isaac Newton also wrote, “If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”

  • Born December 25, 1642 – an English physicist and mathematician who is widely recognized as one of the most influential scientists of all time and as a key figure in the scientific revolution.

Did you know that most successful leaders stand on the shoulders of giants?

It’s true. It applies more than ever in the current transformation of leadership. Leadership is handed down from one coach to another, building the continuation of leadership going back to the time of Christ.

When I was 19, I was coached by Mohammad Hasan Naser-eddin SAHEBZAMANI, researcher, writer, psychologist, teacher, speaker and linguist. He was considered to be one of the most brilliant philosophers in my native country who was not permitted by the government to write, speak or teach.

Despite the censorship, I was fortunate to attend some of his private, small group sessions, and in time, got to know him. He enriched my thinking and helped me understand the value of critical thinking, challenging the status quo, expanding the thought process, not accepting things at face value, learning to explore and delve deeper, and remain humble throughout life. I owe him my gratitude because he enabled me to understand my core values. Eventually I had to leave my country, but will always cherish the wisdom he shared and the path that has led to where I am today. His books are timeless and I still enjoy reading them despite the fact that they were written 35-40 years ago.

My quest for growth and coaching has taken me worldwide to include inspirational leaders such as Les Brown, Brian Tracy and Nick Vujicic. In the last few years it has brought me to know Dr. John C. Maxwell and his team. Dr. John C. Maxwell fuels my passion for transformational leadership and teaches that “you cannot just grow older, you got’ ta grow yourself. Stand on the shoulders of giants and learn from the best.”

“A leader is one who sees more than others see, who sees farther than others see and who sees before others see.”

Leroy Eims

Now the question is who is coaching you? Do you believe in having a coach? Do you see a need? Do you have time to be coached? Can you afford not to have a coach or mentor?

In our rapid paced society, where there isn’t enough time for any one thing, too many distractions, oversaturation, with too many options, maybe it’s time to evaluate what is needed to reach your next goal.

See if any of these indicators apply to you.

  1. If you feel overwhelmed and never seem to catch up
  2. If you are not achieving your goals year after year
  3. If your relationships are affected because of too much work
  4. You feel you lack getting things accomplished – working harder and not smarter just to survive

If your answer is YES to any of these situations, get help. This isn’t a sales pitch, it’s identifying a common challenge that many people share, with a simple solution.

What is the solution?

  1. Become a lifetime student. Stay open to learning.

“Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.” ~Chinese Proverb

  1. Become part of a likeminded, positive group who can share in your ambition to succeed and get ahead. Be accountable to one another, challenge and share ideas.
  2. Hire a coach and stay with it.
  3. Take action and stop procrastinating.   Too much time is lost and only you can take ACTION to begin your success.
  4. Be intentional with your time. It’s okay to say NO to the things that are not getting you closer to your mission in life and say YES to the things that do.

The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as you’re learning you’re not old.

– Rosalyn S. Yalow

Let me share what I have learned, standing on the shoulders of giants:

  1. They are lifelong learners
  2. They give more than they get…they are like a river not reservoir
  3. They form good habits and they stay laser focused
  4. They put others first
  5. They stay humble
  6. They feed their soul, spirit and body and maintain a balanced life

Find a successful mentor, coach or a role model and start investing time on your own growth. You will be amazed with what you can accomplish in just the first year.

Please contact me if you need assistance.

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New Year’s Resolutions and the 8% Achievers

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I remember making my first New Year’s resolution which I promptly forgot by the second month back in 2007. This was the beginning of my writing things down. It was interesting how easy it was to make excuses, lose direction and sight of my vision. I let procrastination kick in, never feeling satisfied with the level of achievement. In 2009, I made up my mind to stop making excuses. It also meant trying new things and getting out of my comfort zone. The challenge was on.

I started to take a closer look at how I did things, challenge myself to trust that I could meet my objectives and realize I truly had passion for what I believed in. It was about adding value to everything and everyone around me.

By the middle of 2009, I formed the habit of writing articles, blogs, quotes, and journals, resulting in the publication of my first book in 2013. Since then, I have two additional books in the works, to be published in 2015. One of the rewarding New Year’s resolutions was starting a blog. Over the last two years, I’ve had the pleasure of sharing my thoughts and comments, reaching more than 5000 readers.

So take a moment and rank your Top 10 New Year’s resolutions for 2015. Some might include:

  1. Lose Weight
  2. Get Organized
  3. Spend Less, Save More
  4. Enjoy Life to the Fullest
  5. Get Fit and Stay Healthy
  6. Learn Something Exciting
  7. Quit Smoking
  8. Help Others Achieve Their Dreams
  9. Fall in Love
  10. Spend More Time with Family

 

A few facts**:

45% of all Americans usually make New Year’s Resolutions

17% of all Americans who infrequently make New Year’s Resolutions

38% of all Americans who absolutely never make New Year’s Resolutions

8% of all people who are successful in achieving their resolution

49% of all people are infrequent successful

24% never succeed to achieve their resolution each year

Typically, people who make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t. Out of these people, 8% are successful.

What does it take to be one of the 8% who succeed? Here’s my list.

  1. Burning Desire

They all have “Burning Desire” to do whatever it takes to get the job done. There’s no hesitation or excuses regardless of circumstance.

  1. Visualization

They visually see what they want to achieve in their mind. If you can’t picture the outcome, it will be difficult to achieve desired results.

  1. Life by Design

They believe in “Life by Design” versus life by default. You gain so much more if you carefully plan rather than let circumstance take over. Without “Life by Design”, it’s hard to break out of the viscous circle that takes over, causing you to feel you’re too busy solving problems and playing catch up.

  1. Power of Three

They understand the value of being laser focused on 3 tasks/projects each day. Keep a list of three things to be accomplish in a timely manner. This includes a “To Stop List” which intentionally works on ridding yourself of bad habits that are time consuming and reduces productivity.

  1. No Fear Mindset

This is the mindset that must be developed at all costs.

  • No fear of sharing your resolution
  • No fear of taking risks
  • No fear of going the extra mile
  • No fear of taking on challenges that may make you, leading to a comfortable life
  • No fear of waking up excited and inspired
  • No fear of being responsible for your choices
  • No fear of working hard
  • No fear of helping others succeed
  • No fear of failing and moving forward
  • No fear of being the best that God wants you to be
  1. Bold Print

They have the resolution in BOLD PRINT and visible everywhere and at any time.

  1. Reward Driven

Making sure that they list all the rewards to achieve the resolution by the deadline and the list of consequences if not met.

Your challenge is to take your New Year’s resolution to a whole new level. Write your list down in “BOLD PRINT” with everything you want to accomplish in 2015. Make it visible and be sure to share your resolutions with everyone. Keep the rewards and consequences in front of you and enjoy achieving them. The feeling to succeed is amazing rather than the excuses and guilt of falling short of your dreams. Make this the beginning of a truly great year.

Wishing you a Happy New Year for 2015!

** University of Scranton. Journal of Clinical Psychology

http://www.linkedin.com/in/farshadasl

 and more…

S.M.A.R.T. Goals aren’t SMART anymore

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In fact, I say S.M.A.R.T. Goals are dumb!

S.M.A.R.T. Goals

Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Realistic

Time-bound

I used to set S.M.A.R.T. goals for myself and guided others in the process for years. Why I say this is because, despite going through the exercise of developing and setting these goals, I began to notice that the result seemed to fall short of the expectation. The goals, by definition, limited the efforts. Instead of trying for the ultimate result, everything seemed to be driven toward a finite number, with constraints and limitations. That’s when the reality hit me that S.M.A.R.T. Goals weren’t keeping up.

We live in a society of change, a time of rapid evolution breaking records in longevity, with technology that flash changes faster than we could hope to stay current. Education can be obtained in all capacities at all times through online, mobile, podcast, and cyber conferencing. We buy, sell and market ourselves through social media, MLM (multi-level marketing), internet, branding – all at the click of a mouse. All-in-all, we are reaching to levels out of this world with limitless opportunities.

So time to shift the paradigm.

My feeling is that we need to create a platform with a new purpose of goal setting and expand the potential, accomplish beyond imagination and achieve extraordinary results.

So begins “P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E” Goals™ 

Passionate: to believe you can do anything and go beyond the realm of expectation. Reaching deep inside and believing that this is the most important goal to accomplish in your life every day. Your goal should create that burning desire within…the LOVE of waking up in the morning and going to take action.

Outside the box: allow yourself to be pushed out of your comfort zone and take risks. Grow from new experiences. It will require thinking, planning and taking ACTION.

Significance: to enrich the lives of somebody besides myself (customers, community, etc.) and to live a life of significance.

Innovative: delineating new opportunities to creatively reach and surpass my goals.

Time-sensitive: remain mindful that my goals require a sense of urgency. This is key to achieve great results.

Impactful: to be empowered to move feelings, influence, and thinking positively. Positive goals have positive impact.

Visionary: to identify your goals and look beyond the limits to obtain the ultimate result.

Evolving: developing new skills to achieve significant results for your goals. Find a way to shift your paradigm and evolve yourself. Look within yourself to put your best into all that you do to grow yourself.

“We often settle for what’s available, and what’s available isn’t always great. YOU are destined to achieve GREATNESS!” Farshad Asl

I would like to challenge you to plan your P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E. goals™ this year and live your life with the passion and fire to achieve extraordinary results. Create an environment to grow consistently and to impact everyone around you positively. Today is a NEW day! Your future doesn’t have to equal your past. You are designed to achieve greatness, to be happy and to live the life you deserve.

“Set your objectives high, and don’t stop till you get there. It’s time to make your dream a reality. It’s your time to live your dream. LET’S GO!” ~Farshad Asl

Click HERE to download the POSITIVE GOAL SETTING WORKSHEET

http://www.linkedin.com/in/farshadasl